Everyone has been in a toxic relationship before, and many have been in several at a time. When a relationship becomes toxic, it is very easy for a person to feel as if their emotions, life, and health are being controlled by the other person. All relationships, even if they’re perfectly healthy, have good and bad aspects. In healthy relationships, the good is balanced by the bad, and vice versa. In unhealthy relationships, the bad is balanced by the good. But in unhealthy relationships, the bad outweighs the good.
Unhealthy relationships are the bane of modern life. They destroy lives, make us unhappy, can make us prone to illness, and affect our physical, mental, and emotional health. These are the reasons for divorce, the causes of depression, and the cause of suicides. Unhealthy relationships are all around us, yet many of us are unaware of the true nature of the problem. While unhealthy relationships are not the only relationships that hurt us, they are the relationships that can cause the most damage. They can destroy our self-esteem, our confidence, and our self-worth. They can even cause us to develop eating disorders or depression.
People in unhealthy relationships cause themselves a lot of stress. It’s no secret that many relationships can be ill-advised, but it’s much harder to accept when you are in one. Whether it’s an abusive relationship, an unhealthy relationship, or even a bad relationship, it’s important to recognize when something is wrong.
There are some unhealthy relationship patterns that we tend to fall into at times, whether we realize it or not. Relationship patterns are the building blocks of any relationship. They are the first thing that follows when creating new relationships. They are visible to both parties, thus creating a visible but not always a real connection. There are different types of unhealthy relationship patterns. Some are more obvious than others.
Most people want to be in healthy relationships, but few of us understand how to make them healthy. Negative relationship patterns are like an internal virus that slowly infects the relationship to the point that it becomes detrimental to both parties involved. It can happen slowly to both parties or in a snap when the situation is not handled correctly.
The problem with unhealthy relationships, however, is that they can be difficult to recognize. People who have unhealthy relationships tend to think their partner is the only one who’s not healthy, but it’s not that simple. Understanding and changing patterns of unhealthy relationships can help you spot them early on, so you can get out of them before they get you. Here are 3 steps to change unhealthy relationship patterns.
1. Relationships cause us a lot of stress and anxiety, and we can become unaware of some unhealthy patterns we have in our relationships. Negative relationship patterns can include: talking over your partner, isn’t listening to your partner, taking things personally, criticizing, can’t forgive, can’t compromise, and so forth. By becoming more aware of the negative relationship patterns, we can take steps to change our unhealthy relationships.
There’s a difference between healthy and unhealthy patterns of behavior. These patterns can be positive or negative, but they both have a place in our lives — only some are healthy, and the rest are unhealthy. When they are positive, healthy behaviors can be healthy for us. When they are negative, they can cause us to feel unhappy with our lives or the lives of others. When they are negative, unhealthy patterns of behavior are common, but most can be changed.
2. By taking control of how you relate to yourself and others, you can create the type of relationship you want. Take the time to examine your negative relationship patterns rather than taking them for granted, and you’ll start seeing changes in the way you relate to yourself and others.
3. In a healthy relationship, you and your partner should feel relaxed and comfortable with each other. However, in a relationship full of unhealthy patterns, a couple may eventually feel trapped in a cycle of frustration and resentment. The relationship can become a source of stress and anger. For the third step, once you have become aware and have recognized the negative patterns that are wreaking havoc in your relationship, it’s time to fight it together.